“Ashtaputravathi Bhava” (May you be blessed with 8 sons) is an old Hindu ‘blessing’. What does this kind of sexist benediction or rather a curse, mean for a little girl in India?
In many Indian villages, the girl child is not wanted at all. They would rather she not live and female infanticide is rampant. In a town, the news of a girl’s birth is often met with resignation, meaning to say, “Well, now that you are born, nothing can be done anyway.” And don’t be under the illusion that the city is any better. “We have two girls. Well…. girls are also okay,” they say, consoling themselves, though they too wish that they had a son. They are all saying to the girl child, “YOU ARE NOT WANTED!”
How is it that in this day and age, we still seem to be prejudiced against the female child? What is worse, women themselves favour the son over the daughter. One can see traces of this discrimination practiced even by the rich and the educated. It is surprising that even in well-to-do families of metropolitan cities; female foeticide is carried out after conducting illicit sex-determination tests.
So the cause for gender bias among children is not caused just by poverty and illiteracy. It is more like a baggage, which we have been lugging around for ages and which we are unable to shed completely. The ‘Lakshmi’ born in the house is considered somebody else’s wealth and is treated as such, in a majority of homes.
As the girl grows, she faces more discrimination. In a poverty-stricken family, the daughter’s share of food is forwarded to her brother, without considering that she too is hungry and that her body need nutrition as much as his . Her education is sacrificed at the altar of her male sibling’s. Her studies are discontinued and she is made to look after the younger children and handle the household chores.
In a middle-class setup, the elders at home will be teaching the growing girl that she should always remember that she is a girl, that she should be docile, that she should be seen not heard, that as a woman, she will first need to cater to the needs of the family and such other ‘pearls of wisdom’. They forget to discipline the boy who may be a brat. They try to reign in the girl but encourage the boy’s antics.
They should realize that it is not just a woman who needs to learn to care for the family. Will this boy who has been treated like a king since childhood, has been a witness to how his sister has been treated, ever treat his wife with respect? Doesn’t he have to be taught to treat his family well, to put others’ needs before his own?
In a rich orthodox household, the girl’s education, her talents may not be given so much prominence that is given to her looks, especially when of marriageable age. After all, her parents will want to ensnare the best groom available. In their minds, her purpose in life is to get settled and of course in Indian parlance, getting settled means getting married.
So, she is encouraged to use loads of fairness creams to get the much sought after ‘fair complexion’. She works out at gyms not for the sake of her fitness but because it is tough to find a match for an overweight bride-to-be. A bride should be compulsorily good-looking, but a groom’s good looks are only a bonus, such are the double standards for the two sexes.
It is sad that the girl child is treated thus, in the land of the Mother Goddess, the first deity ever worshipped in ancient India. She was revered as the ‘Mother of all Creation’, but was later reduced to being the consort of a male God. Later came law givers who decided that a woman needs to be under the care of – first the father, then the husband followed by the son and was declared to be ‘unfit for freedom’.
Ironically, today when India is poised to be a super power, it is not uncommon to a find an educated woman with 2 daughters who has a third child in the hope of a son; because our scriptures say that a male child is a requisite for ‘Moksha’ or salvation.
Author: Pratibha Shenoy (Basavanagudi, Bangalore)
Please share your opinion on girl discrimination in Indian society.
