"Ashtaputravathi Bhava" (May you be blessed with 8 sons) is an old Hindu ‘blessing’. What does this kind of sexist benediction or rather a curse, mean for a little girl in India? In many Indian villages, the girl child is not wanted at all. They would rather she not live and female infanticide is rampant. In a town, the news of a girl’s birth is often met with resignation, meaning to say, "Well, now that you are born, nothing can be done anyway." And don’t be under the illusion that the city is any better. "We have two girls. Well.... girls are also okay," they say, consoling themselves, though they too wish that they had a son. They are all saying to the girl child, "YOU ARE NOT WANTED!" How is it that in this day and age, we still seem to be prejudiced against the female child? What is worse, women themselves favour the son over the daughter. One can see traces of this discrimination practiced even by the rich and the educated. It is surprising that even in well-to-do families of metropolitan cities; female foeticide is carried out after conducting illicit sex-determination tests. So the cause for gender bias among children is not caused just by poverty and illiteracy. It is more like a baggage, which we have been lugging around for ages and which we are unable to shed completely. The ‘Lakshmi’ born in the house is considered somebody else’s wealth and is treated as such, in a majority of homes. As the girl grows, she faces more discrimination. In a poverty-stricken family, the daughter’s share of food is forwarded to her brother, without considering that she too is hungry and that her body need nutrition as much as his . Her education is sacrificed at the altar of her male sibling’s. Her studies are discontinued and she is made to look after the younger children and handle the household chores. In a middle-class setup, the elders at home will be teaching the growing girl that she should always remember that she is a girl, that she should be docile, that she should be seen not heard, that as a woman, she will first need to cater to the needs of the family and such other ‘pearls of … [Read more...]
Values : The best legacy for your child
A child is the apple of a parent's eye. For the parent, nothing is good enough for the child. He must have the best clothes, the best education, the best of everything. In the process of providing all this, the child gets pampered. And if both parents go out to work, there will be the additional feeling of guilt that they are unable to spend time with the child. They try to make up for this lapse by indulging the child some more. In no time, the child learns how to get things done by emotional blackmail. This will prove detrimental to the child's welfare in the long run. He will surely not lack in things tangible. He may not lack even in knowledge. But he will fall woefully short in the ‘values’ department. Such a child will in all probability be a selfish brat, uncaring for others, arrogant, disrespectful. He will be a couch potato watching meaningless programmes on television and whiling away time idly with friends. The child used to having his own way at home may never learn how to handle any kind of failure and even as he achieves physical growth may remain an emotional cripple. Such may be the fate of a child with seemingly the best education that money can buy. Parents will have only themselves to blame for such a state of affairs. Between spending all their time on earning as much as possible for the sake of the child and thinking that their child can do no wrong, they would have spoilt the child rotten. The solution of course rests with the parents themselves. They have to realise that the environment in which the child is reared, plays a significant role in moulding his character. They cannot shrug off their responsibility by just admitting the child to a prestigious school. School may be good for theory but for practical lessons in life, the home is the best place and parents, the finest teachers. For best results of course, the parents have to lead by example. A lying parent cannot teach the child the value of truth, a lazy parent cannot teach the value of work. Formal education may provide the child the means of earning a living, but the parent has to teach the value of service, the joy of giving. Many … [Read more...]
