Reading reports of honour killings in the papers, I can’t help wondering if we are living in the medieval ages. Killing your own children for the supposed dishonour brought upon the family by marrying outside the caste is not just despicable, it is downright barbaric. If these shameful acts were performed by illiterate folk in villages, where caste reigns supreme and khap panchayats lay down the law, it would still shock. But it is even more horrifying to know that educated people, who should have been open-minded, are doing very much the same thing. It is as if education does not make any difference to the way we think. In a country slated to be a super-power, a journalist with a reputed business paper is reported to have been killed by her mother for deciding to marry a person from another caste. Killing, of course happens is some rare cases when the daughter is murdered in cold blood, when she, the epitome of family honour crosses the line. But the lives of many children are sacrificed everyday when parents by force, by emotional blackmail, by threats of disinheritance, make their son or daughter marry a person of their choice. It is a common fact that a majority of marriages in 21st century India are the prerogative of the parents. Children today, have the right to decide on their education, on their career, on so many matters pertaining to their lives at least in urban households, but even now finding a life partner for oneself is out of bounds for many Indians irrespective of their economic and social background. The argument is that, in India, the system of arranged marriage has stood the test of time. This system may sound strange but there is not anything wrong with it per se. It is after all part of our culture. The problem starts when parents force this system on their children. They are very strict in this one matter. So a boy or girl may be very bold and independent minded in the workplace and elsewhere, but when it comes to marriage they are more than willing to toe their parents' line. We usually will have heard of at least one instance among acquaintances, where parents refuse to accept a … [Read more...]
Anguish of a Girl Child
"Ashtaputravathi Bhava" (May you be blessed with 8 sons) is an old Hindu ‘blessing’. What does this kind of sexist benediction or rather a curse, mean for a little girl in India? In many Indian villages, the girl child is not wanted at all. They would rather she not live and female infanticide is rampant. In a town, the news of a girl’s birth is often met with resignation, meaning to say, "Well, now that you are born, nothing can be done anyway." And don’t be under the illusion that the city is any better. "We have two girls. Well.... girls are also okay," they say, consoling themselves, though they too wish that they had a son. They are all saying to the girl child, "YOU ARE NOT WANTED!" How is it that in this day and age, we still seem to be prejudiced against the female child? What is worse, women themselves favour the son over the daughter. One can see traces of this discrimination practiced even by the rich and the educated. It is surprising that even in well-to-do families of metropolitan cities; female foeticide is carried out after conducting illicit sex-determination tests. So the cause for gender bias among children is not caused just by poverty and illiteracy. It is more like a baggage, which we have been lugging around for ages and which we are unable to shed completely. The ‘Lakshmi’ born in the house is considered somebody else’s wealth and is treated as such, in a majority of homes. As the girl grows, she faces more discrimination. In a poverty-stricken family, the daughter’s share of food is forwarded to her brother, without considering that she too is hungry and that her body need nutrition as much as his . Her education is sacrificed at the altar of her male sibling’s. Her studies are discontinued and she is made to look after the younger children and handle the household chores. In a middle-class setup, the elders at home will be teaching the growing girl that she should always remember that she is a girl, that she should be docile, that she should be seen not heard, that as a woman, she will first need to cater to the needs of the family and such other ‘pearls of … [Read more...]
